If you try to caress your boyfriend during a time when things don’t seem perfectly okay, and he reacts negatively, try not to take it personally. Unless he always acts this way around you, he may just need his space or time to think and doesn’t receive touch well during these times. If your boyfriend never seems to like being caressed, or reacts rudely or harshly when you try to touch him, it may be a good time to talk to him about how you feel. You don’t want to be dating someone who doesn’t appreciate it when you touch him.
Ask him where he is experiencing the most tension and what feels the best. Your boyfriend will likely love a massage that caters to the areas in his body that need the most attention. After you have loosened him up a bit he may be more intimate with you, or willing to give you a massage.
Some of the best times to do a caress like this is when it is unexpected. Catch him off guard so that his attention is immediately drawn back to you.
Moments where your boyfriend seems upset, sad, or has experienced some sort of loss can be the sweetest times to caress him in this way. It gives him the space he may need to mourn or grieve, but lets him know that you are there for him and care for him. [5] X Research source
If your boyfriend is acting like he wants space, or seems distant or aloof because he is angry or irritated with you, you might avoid caressing him. In those moments he may need a little bit of time to cool off and think through things. Reaching out and touching him could set him off even more or make him feel he needs an even greater distance. If the two of you are at the end of a fight, and you aren’t sure if it is a good time to touch your boyfriend, you can try asking him. Simply ask “Is it okay if I hug you or hold you now?” That way, you know if he’s in a place where he wants to be near you.
When you compliment your boyfriend and make him feel like the things he does for you aren’t in vain, it can create positive effects in your life as well. If he feels like his significant other appreciates him and notices him, he may be more likely to do things for you, because he knows that you won’t just ignore him or critique him.
In moments when your boyfriend is experiencing difficulty or has recently failed at something, take time to encourage him and remind him of his strengths and what he is good at. Uplifting your boyfriend in times when he is feeling insecure is one of the best ways to compliment him.
Helping your boyfriend may look like different things. It may be running errands for him when his life gets crazy. It may be helping him with school work or his workload. It may be giving him space to sort things out. The best way to help you boyfriend is to do things without him having to ask first. This will show him that you aren’t helping him out of obligation or helping him just because he asked – you are doing it because you care about him enough to help him out.
Giving your boyfriend grace means not holding grudges against him, forgiving him, and showing him love, even when it is difficult. Showing someone grace can often be humbling, but it helps him see that you are understanding and know that you aren’t perfect either. This doesn’t mean that you can let your boyfriend walk all over you, or continually mess up with no regard to your feelings. If your boyfriend continually hurts your or is constantly making mistakes, you should talk to him. Communication is key to a healthy relationship, so if you have given your boyfriend grace countless times and continue to forgive him, but his behavior still throws you off, it’s time you have a conversation with him.
For a healthy relationship you should avoid dating someone who doesn’t seem that into you, or is only keeping you around until something “better” comes along. Dating someone who shares the same values as you do and is committed to you will result in the best relationship and the least amount of heartbreak. [15] X Research source
